Wednesday, December 31, 2008

5 Minutes: New Years Resolutions

So its rare for people to keep their New Year's Resolutions. I'm aware. And I'm no different. My resolutions have ranged from working out to reading a book a week to getting up earlier to small stupid things and I don't think I've ever kept any of them. This year, I want to think in more general terms, less specific. Maybe then I could at least accomplish the task of aiming in a specific direction.

I want to be more focused in 2009. I want to be more directed toward the things that matter the most to me. I want to be a better wife and a better friend and I want to use more discernment in my speech. I tend to get so passionate about something that I speak in a way that comes off as much more aggressive than I intended. I'm not sure what that says about me or what it means in general, but it is what it is and when it comes down to it, I don't like it.

I want to be more disciplined in 2009. I would like to wake up earlier and work out and read and study and eat better and just overall do better for myself. This always proves to be the hardest thing. I get apathetic and lazy and I end up acting the same as I did the year before. I wonder what year, if any, will cause this to change.

I am so far from the person I want to be, although it's amazing that I'm more secure with myself than I've ever been before. I still feel like there's miles to go before I sleep. When I really think about it, I guess I don't want to ever lose that. I never want to become complacent about who I am and where I need to be. I want to always be striving to be better. And one thing I'm hoping I can count on in 2009 is people surrounding me that push me to be better as well. I hope that's what I can offer to them. I hope people are better for having known me. I'm not there yet and I apologize for that, but maybe this year will be a life-changing kind of year. I hope for nothing less.

2 comments:

Mama Smors said...

I am the same way about being aggressive when I am passionate about something.... I don't like it and I ended up feeling like I was being mean. No fun!! Hopefully, I will get better at this in 2009 too!

Cameron said...

i'm so glad you said that because i've always thought it was just me and i feel like a total jerk everytime i do it! luckily i have wonderful friends who know what i mean and don't hold it against me, but i still don't like that about myself! haha

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