Seth is my cousin. And he is hilarious. He posts notes all the time on facebook and one day he is going to be a famous sports journalist because I said so. Anyway, he posted this today on facebook and I love it. So you should read it. Although I need it to be clear that I didn't write it.
Finally! Someone who deserves a Hummer!
Well, let me specify- deserves to get a hummer, in a hummer. In the link below, a bank robbery left a man with nothing to do but take matters into his own hands. The robbers probably would and should have taken his keys, had they known what he drove. Little did they know he wasn't just gonna open a can of whoopass on them, but rather a 12,000 pound vehicle. A vehicle that can sometimes withstand running over a land mine, a vehicle that probably has run over many an iraqi, so why couldn't it run down a couple of punks who may or may not have been in a hyundai? (I sure as hell can't tell) This guy, unlike the rest of us, deserves to meet Chuck Norris, because what he did- he pulled straight from the book of Chuck. Instead of letting the Po Po's have all the fun he jumps in his suburban assault vehicle and put the pedal to the metal, the suspects probably thought they were home free until the blur in their rear view mirror went from a spec, to what looked like an ice cream truck, to just some jerk late for work, to a seven slot grille ass fucking the rear end of their car and eventually doing the yoko zuna right on top of their candy asses. It's said that 2 of the suspects escaped, but the other two are in critical condition- and what other condition besides dead, would you expect to be in after getting run over by a half breed cross between truck and tank? This guy is living a dream, he should be featured on the Budweiser " REEEAAAALLLLL MEEEN OF GEEEENIUS" commericials as Mr. Fuck with me and I will run your shit over. This guy could be facing charges, but is a hero- this should have a hollywood ending, with the guy taking a picture in such a pose that let's everyone know that he's got a little captain in him, because he is both cold, bold, and worthy of captain morgan. The suspects, now victims if conscious, are probably wondering, "what the hell happened?" I really hope someone said, "Buddy you just got the biggest hummer of your life, oops scratch that- you got run the fuck over by one." There just may be a glimmer of hope for 2007 after all....
Here is the link.
February 8, 2007
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