these just really never get old and i was SO in the mood today.
- Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
- Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
- Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the f*** he wants.
- Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
- Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
- Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
- Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
- Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
- Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
- Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
- M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
- ADD is not a disease. It's just impossible to focus when you know that Chuck Norris could strike at any moment.
- Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.
- Vin Diesel can be re-arranged to say, "I end lives". Screw that; Chuck Norris can be re-arranged to say "Chuck Norris", Which means the same thing.
- When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.
3 comments:
okay so i hardly laugh out loud at something i read or see on t.v. or whatever... but man chuck norris never gets old. i think he pees the fountain of youth.
but i peed laughing because i found out ole chucky's balls are made of steel... and his weenie.. well we won't get into that.
i think the word weenie is a cute way to say penis.
omg... i laughed so hard...
hahaha i was a little obsessed with norris last year...haha just ask em
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