5 Minutes: New Years Resolutions

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So its rare for people to keep their New Year's Resolutions. I'm aware. And I'm no different. My resolutions have ranged from working out to reading a book a week to getting up earlier to small stupid things and I don't think I've ever kept any of them. This year, I want to think in more general terms, less specific. Maybe then I could at least accomplish the task of aiming in a specific direction.

I want to be more focused in 2009. I want to be more directed toward the things that matter the most to me. I want to be a better wife and a better friend and I want to use more discernment in my speech. I tend to get so passionate about something that I speak in a way that comes off as much more aggressive than I intended. I'm not sure what that says about me or what it means in general, but it is what it is and when it comes down to it, I don't like it.

I want to be more disciplined in 2009. I would like to wake up earlier and work out and read and study and eat better and just overall do better for myself. This always proves to be the hardest thing. I get apathetic and lazy and I end up acting the same as I did the year before. I wonder what year, if any, will cause this to change.

I am so far from the person I want to be, although it's amazing that I'm more secure with myself than I've ever been before. I still feel like there's miles to go before I sleep. When I really think about it, I guess I don't want to ever lose that. I never want to become complacent about who I am and where I need to be. I want to always be striving to be better. And one thing I'm hoping I can count on in 2009 is people surrounding me that push me to be better as well. I hope that's what I can offer to them. I hope people are better for having known me. I'm not there yet and I apologize for that, but maybe this year will be a life-changing kind of year. I hope for nothing less.

5 Minutes: too controversial

I wrote another one of my "5 Minutes" posts today and then deleted it because it was too controversial. It was too personal. It gave too much away. I do not blog to pass out little pieces of myself to random people over the internet. But if I could say one thing to cover the gist of what my 5 Minute piece was about it would be this:

If you enable someone to continue in their destructive behavior, whatever it may be, then you own part of who they become. You are partly to blame and should be ashamed of yourself.

Sorry, it's a very bold and very personal statement for me to make, but it's where my head and heart were today because of people I love.

5 Minutes: Tattoos & Jesus Freaks

(Pictures were taken with my iPhone - sorry they aren't digital camera pics)

First of all, it's actually a little nervewracking to do this. 5 minutes on the clock, write whatever comes to my mind and don't stop until the timer goes off. Eeek.

So Lewis got a new tattoo this weekend - a really big one on his arm. (See pictures above.) The tattoo actually means a lot to him personally and spiritually and to the two of us together. Tattoos are something that I always wanted and always had an appreciation for, possibly because my dad has one and possibly just because I am who I am. But tattoos were not always something that Lewis wanted. I sort-of had an affect on that, as did many other things in the last few years of his life. He now has 3 big tattoos and he wants more.

Some people have given me some grief about tattoos - which is fine. Everyone is welcome to their own opinion, but I would like to share mine - as just a voice in the midst of many. When it comes to your kids getting tattoos - as long as it's not a super offensive word or picture - if tattoos are the worst thing you're dealing with, you're doing okay. If I have a child who is respectful, honest, sincere, well-behaved and sober, I will not put up a fight when it comes to the color of their hair, their clothing, tattoos, piercings or any other superficial ridiculousness that could cause an argument. I will put up a fight about the state of their soul, the way they treat other people and the way they are fundamentally in themselves. I especially will not put up a fight about a tattoo that somehow describes an important and meaningful event or person or belief in their life.

Also, when it comes to my children, my highest goal will be to raise them in a way that promotes open, honest and sincere conversation about that world around them. Because I am a Christian I will always teach them and guide them in a way that reflects the things that I hold highest in my life, but almost even more-so because I am raising them in a Christian home - I want tattoos. Because if nothing else, I want them to know that it is the state of their heart and the state of their mind and soul that matters more than anything they could do or wear or put onto their bodies.

I just think it's important to emphasize what matters and let go the irrelevant arguments.